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Post by Mini on Jan 10, 2013 22:46:17 GMT -4
((Originally posted Dec. 28, 2011))
t was the kind of perfect day that only comes around every once in a blue moon. Summer was on it's way out, the days were growing shorter and colder, and the weather had taken a turn for the worse for most of the last week. A break in the rain and the gloom had finally come, and the sun was shining brightly at last. Fluffy white clouds dotted the dazzling blue skies. Every single building in the entire kingdom glistened merrily in the sun. Birds were singing, children were laughing, and everyone was in exceptionally good spirits.
Everyone, that was, except for the princess.
Rini sat far away from everyone and everything. Her bedroom window seat looked out over the main circle of the Kingdom. She sat there, hugging her knees tightly, staring blankly out the window at nothing in particular. Her hair was a mess, but she didn't care. She wore a simple white sleeping gown and a robe that seemed to be much too big for her, but she didn't care about that, either. She didn't care about much of anything anymore.
The young princess hadn't left her room in two days. Her mother had come looking for her several times now, but she refused to answer her. Besides, the Queen was busy running the kingdom by herself, due to her father's mysterious disappearance. She was probably also busy trying to keep them from going to war with the neighbors. Rini should probably care about that, but she didn't. Occasionally some maids popped in and out of her room, usually bringing food or a gentle suggestion to try taking a hot bath, coming down to the dining hall for a meal, talking to someone, or going outside for a walk, but she ignored them. She ignored all of them. What was the point? There was no point. Not now. Not without him.
The worst part was that sometimes she could swear that he was still there. Sometimes, she thought she heard his voice in her ear. There were times she could almost see him standing there in that special way he stood, where he just stayed and watched her, trying to act like he wasn't smiling as he watched her every move. At night, when she tried not to sleep because of the nightmares that always came, she could practically feel his arms around her, his hands stroking her hair, hear his voice whispering to her that everything would be all right.
But it wouldn't be all right.
Not now.
Not ever.
And it was all her fault.
Tears welled up in her eyes as her mind played back everything that had happened. She hugged her knees tighter and prayed to stop seeing the things she was seeing. Wasn't it bad enough that she had lived through them once all ready? Wasn't it bad enough that she relived them every time she fell asleep? She cringed as phantom pain from the memories that haunted her hit her right in the gut.
"You promised," she whimpered. Twin streams of tears trickled down her face. "You promised everything would be all right. But it's not. It never will be. And... And it's all my fault."
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Post by Nayr on Jan 10, 2013 22:48:04 GMT -4
There was a click behind the weeping princess as the lock on her door disengaged itself, followed by the door opening, then closing. The High Wizard of Ethera entered and sat on the seat next to Rini. He put his arm around her, telling her wordlessly that she needn't face all this alone. He said nothing, only waited to see what she would do.
It had been trying since their return. No pressing crises elsewhere meant they were finally free to focus on the political situation at home, and the Queen was making every possible use of them. As it was, the only reason Ishazi was even in this room was because no one else could get the princess to talk, or even eat for that matter. So, with her High Wizard between errands, she asked him to please go see her daughter, make her eat something if he could. After all, he was one of her guardians, handpicked by the King to ensure her safety and well being. Even if only for that reason, here he was. Atop that, the Queen of Ethera had asked him as a personal favor to see what he could do for the morose princess. So here they sat, Ishazi's arm around Rini and no talking going on just yet.
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Post by Mini on Jan 10, 2013 22:48:21 GMT -4
Rini didn't even look up when she heard the door open and very quietly shut. It was probably just some other maid come in to check on her and try to make her eat something. She scowled darkly as she heard footsteps approach her. Great, they weren't just going to leave her alone, were they? As soon as she felt the arm wrap around her, she turned to tell whoever it was to just leave her alone, but she came face to face with one of the few people she just might actually talk to.
"Ishazi."
Her voice cracked as she spoke his name. She just looked at him. The poor girl didn't even try to hide the fact that she had been crying. She sniffled a little, then glanced away from him. Her gaze rested on the window, but she wasn't really looking at anything.
"My mother sent you up here, didn't she?"
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Post by Nayr on Jan 10, 2013 22:49:02 GMT -4
She'd definitely been up here the whole time, that much was readily apparent. If she'd spent any time caring about her appearance, she'd have looked less like the specter of horrific death that she currently appeared as. Having been there, however, Ishazi had some insight into what might have caused her condition. He hadn't quite been able to untangle it yet, but it seemed that there was some kind of special connection between her and someone who had been lost on their last outing. Judging by her current state, his guesses weren't far off the mark. Enough reverie, though. She'd asked a question, and he answered, using a shortened form of his private nickname for her, meaning little miracle.
"Yes, she did. She's worried about you, kiseki. She says you haven't eaten, and that you only sleep when you're exhausted from crying. Want to talk about it?"
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Post by Mini on Jan 10, 2013 22:49:25 GMT -4
Normally hearing Ishazi use one of his special little nicknames for her always brought a smile to her face. Not today, though. He wanted her to talk about it? What was she supposed to say? How could she tell him the horrors she had seen? The things she had felt? Everything that she still felt, even now? She couldn't escape from it, not even in her sleep. Her nightmares made everything ten thousand times worse.
Rini sniffled and bit back a sob at the thought of her last nightmare. Her shoulders trembled beneath Ishazi's warm arm. There had been so much blood. He had been there, struck down in battle, bleeding out everywhere. He was calling her name, but she couldn't get to him. She heard him screaming for her, screaming out in pain and agony. She woke up screaming, and she swore she could still hear him calling to her even after she had awoken.
A small whimper slipped out of her. She made an effort to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand, but all she really managed to do was smear her tears across her face This only made her look even worse than she all ready did, and that was quite a feat.
"I... I'm just not hungry," she whispered. Her blank gaze was still fixed on the window pane before her. "And when I try to eat, I just... I can't," she sighed, sounding frustrated. More tears welled up in her eyes. She fought back more sobs. Her fingers curled up into trembling fists. "And I... I don't want to sleep. I-I'm just not tired," she lied, and it was probably a very obvious one at that. The dark circles under her bloodshot eyes were a dead giveaway of just how much sleep she had not gotten since they had returned home to Ethera.
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Post by Nayr on Jan 10, 2013 22:49:39 GMT -4
Firstly, she didn't even smile in the tiniest measurement. She always smiled when he called her by nickname. Clearly this was something more serious than anything she'd ever faced before. That right there was cause enough to be worried. Atop that, when she wiped her eyes, it made her look even more a fright. The girl was clearly distraught beyond measure, and her face only made it all the more apparent.
"I...I'm just not hungry," she said, her voice a whisper, her eyes never straying from the window, despite the fact that she really wasn't looking out of it so much as in its direction, "And when I try to eat, I just...I cant."
Her eyes began to well up with tears again, and those elegant fingers Ishazi was still getting used to clenched into fists that trembled with restrained sorrow.
"And I...I don't want to sleep. I-I'm just not tired."
The lie to that was broadcast from her eyes. She was exhausted. Something was keeping her from sleeping, and she stayed awake to avoid it. Clearly connected to her current state.
"Is there any way I could convince you to take some food and rest? Maybe there's a way I can help. They don't call me the High Wizard for nothing..."
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Post by Mini on Jan 10, 2013 22:49:59 GMT -4
Oh, there was definitely a way Ishazi could help. He could just turn back the hands of time and stop everything that had happened from happening. Or maybe he could just skip that and resurrect the dead. Unfortunately, Rini knew that both of those tasks were impossible, even for the High Wizard of Ethera. She sighed heavily as she thought about how powerless they all were. Even Ishazi, with his seemingly limitless knowledge of magic, was powerless to change what destiny had dished out to her.
Her eyes turned briefly to focus on Ishazi. The bright and happy glimmer that usually alighted her eyes was gone, replaced now by an almost hollow darkness. There was a deep sorrow embedded in them, a kind that should not be seen in eyes so young. There was also fear there, but what that fear was from remained a mystery. For a moment, it seemed as if she was going to say something. She made a soft noise that could have possibly been the start of a thought, but nothing more except a swallow followed. With a soft sigh, her eyes flitted back to the window.
"Mmm."
That was the only response Ishazi received from the bedraggled princess. She continued to stare vacantly out the window at absolutely nothing at all. Her mind was entirely elsewhere.
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Post by Nayr on Jan 10, 2013 22:50:18 GMT -4
Ishazi was unsurprised by the distance of the answer. It was clear that he'd only made her retreat further with his question, and now he had one shot left before she'd be unreachable. But what to use it on? How could he bring the girl back from the brink of her mental abyss?
"Let's start with food. I can help you keep some lunch down so you don't starve, and then I can help you sleep. While you're napping, why don't I stop by the royal library and see what secrets I can unearth for our situation? Perhaps there is yet a way this could be made right..."
He had no idea how this could be brought about, to be honest with himself, but if the only way to save her was to promise something he'd never thought possible, then he'd find a way to make the impossible possible. It was his duty. It was his privilege. It was what she needed him to be.
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Post by Mini on Jan 10, 2013 23:06:30 GMT -4
As Ishazi kept prodding her about food and sleep, Rini felt herself growing more and more irritated. What didn't he understand about the situation? Eating just made her sick, and sleeping now terrified her so much that she would rather go without. She opened her mouth and was about to rip his head off and tell him to just leave her alone when he said something that caught her attention.
"It could be made right? Do you really think?" she asked, turning herself slightly so that she was now facing him. For just a moment, she looked hopeful. But then it seemed that reality rained back down on her, and the hopeful glimmer vanished. A glum and hopeless expression spread across her face.
"No... No, it can't. It's impossible. We both know that," she said slowly, glancing down and away from Ishazi. She sighed heavily.
"Listen, Ishazi, I don't care if you make me eat, but please... please don't make me sleep. I can't. Y-You have no idea what it's like," she whispered. Sniffling, she looked back up at him with tears in her eyes. She looked terrified of something.
"Ishazi...Have you ever been afraid to dream?"
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Post by Nayr on Jan 14, 2013 16:51:22 GMT -4
Ishazi let her continue through her mental paces, knowing that there was something more on the way.
"Ishazi...have you ever been afraid to dream?"
There it was. The core of the problem. Exactly as he'd expected. He nodded.
"Many times, actually. Before I came to this kingdom, I learned in a strange and wonderful place, but many of the things I learned there came at the cost of some truly terrifying experiences. Weeks of nightmares that would chase my consciousness, lurking at the edge of wakefulness. I overcame them through time and patience, but you have me. If you ask, I can make you sleep without dreaming."
He walked to the door and flagged down a servant, asking quietly for a tray of food to be brought up. The servant left with a smile to obey, glad to hear that the Treasured One would be eating at last. Ishazi closed the door and walked back to Rini.
"So, what do you think?"
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Post by Mini on Jan 16, 2013 0:57:00 GMT -4
"... I can make you sleep without dreaming."
Was that truly possible? Rini didn't know very much about magic. She had been truly terrible at it until just recently, and because of that most of her studies had been spent on other topics. The thought of being able to sleep without reliving intensified versions of everything she had somehow lived through nearly brought her to tears. It had been days since she had actually slept. Thinking back, she imagined that the last full night of good, uninterrupted sleep had been right before...
Right before the night she had been raped.
Even thinking of just the word alone was enough to make her inhale sharply and cringe in terror. Unfortunately, rape wasn't the only horrible event that had befallen her in that cold and rank dungeon cell. Even though she had long since healed on the outside, she could still sometimes see phantom scars of all the damage that man-- that monster had inflicted upon her body.
That was one thing Ishazi didn't know about. Nobody in all of Ethera knew about that, actually. Rini didn't have the heart to tell anybody. She was too ashamed, too embarrassed, too mortified, and too terrified to even think about trying to tell someone. The only ones who did know were... dead. All of them.
Ishazi's voice broke through her memories and pulled her back into the present. There were tears streaming down her face again. She didn't even try to hide them this time. She just looked up at him with a look similar to that of an abandoned puppy dog out in the rain. Her sobs, sadder and more pathetic sounding than ever before, were the only answer she could manage right now.
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Post by Nayr on Jan 18, 2013 23:51:57 GMT -4
Ishazi watched her mood rapidly devolve to tears and sobs, and though she looked at him and maybe even tried to make herself answer, she couldn't bear to. He hugged her to him, trying to will her sadness to retreat, as if such a thing were possible at all. It was times like these when it hurt being her guardian, because he knew there was very little, if anything, to help her.
"Shhhhhh. It'll be all right one day, kiseki. For today, let's get some food in you, and then I'll help you sleep without the dreams bothering you. While you sleep, I'll go to the library, I promise."
Fortunately, he could speak by implication and not promise her directly that he'd find a way to raise the dead. He wasn't sure it was even possible, but she seriously needed to not hear that. What she needed was the hope that such a promise as he gave would bring. Whenever there was a serious problem, he went to the library to research, and generally always came out with an answer. Sometimes the trips were more eventful than he let on, but the High Wizard of Ethera going to research was generally synonymous with answers. That was what he was getting at. She needed hope and peace, and this was what he could do to provide her with both.
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Post by Mini on Jan 19, 2013 0:51:43 GMT -4
Rini welcomed Ishazi's warm arms as they wrapped tightly and protectively around her, pulling her close against him as she all but crawled into his lap. She couldn't even remember the last time someone had just held her. It was at times like this when her outward appearance betrayed her for who she still truly was on the inside - a young, preteen, sad and scared little girl. The events of the past had forced her to grow up and mature far faster than she should have. There were times when it was hard to believe that the beautiful young woman who was now the sole heir to the throne of Ethera hadn't really skipped over the last ten or so years of her life. Right now was not one of those times.
She buried her face into his robes, sobbing uncontrollably for what seemed like ages. Her arms wrapped around him, and she clung to him as tightly as she could manage. Her whole body trembled and shook against him with each raggedy breath she took.
Finally, her sobs quieted and her body quit trembling. It seemed as if she had cried until she had no more tears left to cry. If she hadn't been so utterly terrified of sleeping, she might have drifted off right there in Ishazi's arms. She started a bit as she realized that she had almost fallen asleep in his arms. Sniffling softly, she gazed up at Ishazi.
"Okay," she whispered, nestling her head against his shoulder. If she shut her eyes and used her imagination, it was almost like he was holding her again. This thought evoked more tears, but she fought them back. Instead of crying more, she clung to Ishazi even tighter.
"Just promise that you'll be here when I wake up, okay?"
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Post by Nayr on Jan 19, 2013 1:08:23 GMT -4
There was a knock at the door right then, and a servant came in carrying a tray of food.
"I promise," Ishazi said, "But first you need to eat something, okay?"
He took the tray of food and thanked the servant, who looked relieved that Rini was going to eat finally. The servant left, closing the door behind her. Ishazi set the tray of food down next to Rini.
"I know you don't need help eating that. The cook is good here, eh?"
He was willing to help the food out, but it seemed against some sort of sacred code or other. Besides, if he could get even a little chuckle out of her, it would be well worth it.
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Post by Mini on Jan 19, 2013 1:26:53 GMT -4
Rini didn't look up at the knock on the door. Her energies were focused on not falling asleep in Ishazi's arms. Not yet, anyway. She knew she needed to get some real sleep, and in order for that to happen, she would have to let Ishazi help her.
Ishazi place the tray of food down in front of her. Rini shifted herself a bit so that she was facing it. The cook had absolutely outdone himself with what he had whipped together in such a short amount of time. All of Rini's favorite breakfast foods were present, even though breakfast had long since come and gone. There was a steaming stack of pancakes topped with a smattering of powdered sugar, chocolate chips, and syrup. Strips of bacon and sausage sat next to the pancakes. There were scrambled cheesy eggs with little pieces of ham mixed in. There were a variety of different fruit crepes. A large bowl of delicious looking sliced fruit, a plate of ginormous slices of cinnamon toast, two very large blueberry muffins, and a large glass of chocolate milk completed the tray.
Seeing all of that delicious food and hearing Ishazi's little quip about the cook being good made her smile just a little bit. She wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand.
"Ooh, Ishazi, I'm never going to be able to eat all of this," she said. "Even if I was feeling better, this is way too much food. You're gonna have to help me get rid of it," she added, glancing up at him with the hint of a smile still on her face.
She looked over everything and finally selected one of the muffins to nibble on. It was incredible. She felt like she had forgotten what real food tasted like. It didn't take long for her to finish off the muffin and start to work on the pancakes.
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